Sunday, April 24, 2011

Hiding and Hermit-ing.

My last post was on December 10, 2010. Now, if you have been following this blog at all, you will know that this is my per usual routine. I make up excuses for my absence and vow to write regularly.

Now, I am not going to blame this absence on anything. But, I will throw a few catalysts on the table.

Let's start with winter. If you know me at all, you would know that I am raging anti-winter anything. I've gotten to the point where even the idea of a "White Christmas" sends me into a frenzied rage of anti-winter slurs. Some people say, "Oh, I hate winter, but I don't mind it when it's Christmas-time." I.MIND.IT. The cold, the snow, the winds, and the endless days of gray skies make for one very un-happy Lindsay. I know a lot of northerners complain about seasonal depression, but I genuinely suffer from it (dibilitated, if you will) Just about the only thing that usually gets me through the winter is drinking and socializing. In particular, I consume mass quantities of red wine (which I recently found out I am allergic to, but that's another sob story for another day). Not this year. Around Thanksgiving, I had the hangover to end all hangovers. As I was face down, praying to the porcelain Gods, shaking, crying, and wanting to die...I had an epiphany. WHY do I drink? A hangover is almost always the end result. And my hangovers aren't just hangovers - they carry into the evening hours and I usually average about 27.7 vomits. And when you're getting dropped off at your car the next morning, and you puke all over your brand new boots, the epiphany solidifies. From Thanksgiving until February 5, 2011 (the eve of my 25th birthday celebration), I...wait for it...spare your gasps...DIDN'T DRINK. This made for one incredibly long winter. So instead of going out on the weekends and partying my face off, I stayed in. I watched too much reality TV, gained about 15 pounds, and enjoyed every minute of it. Now, one would think this was a perfect time to write and blog, but without my social bouncings, I had little material. Not only did I have little material, the lack of sunshine delved me into an angry depressed state. I didn't care about much of anything except escaping into the newest episode of Kim & Kourtney Take New York. My weeks consisted of work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep and so forth.

Another catalyst for my absence was my new job. For anyone that has gone from a completely erratic and free-spirited schedule, to a regimented 40 hour work week, you understand. Almost 5 months into this job and I feel like I am finally getting the hang of the hours. Most nights, I feel so drained that I debate going to bed the minute I get home. My brain has been so fried that writing is the last thing on my mind.

Hermit-ing: (verb): the act of shutting out the world and finding solace in television and shunning social interactions.

I hermit-ed for a long time this winter. Longer than usual. (Never again, by the way). None the less, I was a lazy piece of shit.

But here I am. It's Spring. It's Easter Sunday and the sun is shining. The flowers are starting to peek through the mud and the grass gets greener everyday. I am reminded that life is alive and well, and I feel inspired again. There's more to come - this time - I promise ;)